Based off of the following post from Geekadelphia I present Chicken Horrors, a classic tale of woe and fright coming to a theater with sticky floors near you.  It is based off of this article from The Philadelphia City Newspaper

I’m strongly opposed to the idea of government interfering in businesses that exist on a proven free market.  Therefore I’m opposed to the idea of the much talked about bailout.  In light of this I thought I’d make fun of it with a pseudo apocalyptic song set to a recognizable tune.  You can watch the video bellow and download the song on the bottom of the post.

Here are the unofficial lyrics

When you loan people dough and then say whoops, oh no! that’s a bailout

When you buy up those loans though no one else condones, that’s a bailout

Give away other people’s pay don’t care what they say, its ok, that’s a bailout

Give it to those who did just screw those like me and you, its not new, that’s a bailout

When you load it with pork just to make the votes work, that’s a bailout

When every expert knows this won’t keep your shirt, that’s a bailout

Say goodbye, to free markets because we’ll decide on a bailout

When you nationalize those with failed merchandise, that’s a bailout

When its no big surprise that we all fear demise, that’s bailout

When we screw the future just to save car makers, that’s a bailout

There’s no way this can ever sway the econo-may, but they say that’s a bailout

Forget though, this scenario, would just further woe, but oh no, that’s a bailout

When you remove the risk just for investor bliss, that’s a bailout

When you give us not choice but to silence our voice that’s a bailout

When you choose not to loose, but instead to abuse that’s a bailout

It will happen again and again and again, that’s a bailout

When you throw money high so it falls from the sky, that’s a bailout

When you bow to your knees to the big industry, that’s a bailout

Go ahead avoid what we dread, have to wait instead, worse ahead, its a bailout

Forget that capitalism’s trap is let it nap, but they snap to a bailout

When you throw around dough like its worth less than snow, that’s a bailout

Whey you don’t care about how this will turn out, that’s a bailout

When no longer we hold free markets untold, that’s a bailout

When the treasury’s drained and economy bained, that’s a bailout

I was bored last night with my new shiny controller keyboard.  I was playing with a few melodic ideas, and decided to record a jam session (I need a better word than that, but it escapes me) based on those ideas.  The following is a one take improvisation, with a few stray notes edited out.

Its true, there is a particular fact that RIT tries to hide from its prospective students. Particularly the ones looking to go into a computing field are sheltered the most. That fact is there are significantly more males than females attending RIT. I’ve had several classes with all men. Needless to say this has had an effect on my psyche. In my experience, the particular effects tend to side less on the romantic aspects, and more along the lines of a lack of female perspective in conversations.

A good portion of the ratio stems from the kind of subjects taught at RIT. The majority of subjects are technical including Computer Science, Mechanical Engineering, and Bioinframatics. We do have an art school with majors such as Photography, and Design, but that one school can’t make up for the hoards of computer scientists RIT churns out. Still, there is a particular culture at RIT that might also play a role in repelling females. There are also aspects that close males off from contact with the few females here. That culture and its peculiarities are the central theme of this song.

I myself do much of what is in the song. Though I’ve never played WOW, I’ve definately been enamored a little too much with a video game from time to time and even though I may shower daily, I’ve let my hair grow to very unattractive lengths. So, even if I’m not literally guilty, I am in spirit.

Here is a rough sketch of the lyrics. I may have deviated from a few words, but its mostly all here.

We are a tech school brimming with nerds
Talk about Linux, Perl and Leopard
We don’t consider it mildly absurd
Thats why RIT has no Girls

Ain’t got no social skills its a shame
ask for a reason, its all the same
won’t get off of them video games
thats why RIT has no girls.

We like to play world of warcraft
what is a bath,
Its wet, I’ll Bet

We chant at sports games pi i times 3
Thats why RIT has no girls.

Won’t even lift our heads when we walk.
Don’t dare to stop and sit down and talk.
Social interaction just makes us balk.
Thats why RIT has no girls.

We’ll cancel a date to settle catan
yes get the wheat port it is 2 to 1
forget most others don’t find it fun
Thats Why RIT has no girls.

We like to stay in-doors all day long
sun is too strong
it burns, we squirm

We’ll spend a full day locked in our room
Thats why RIT has no Girls

PS:

This song is a parody of “The Lady Is A Tramp” a little more obscure than my previous song.

I won’t tell you what song this parodies, I will tell you that you know it. It was inspired by being told “If I poke you in the Eye, I’ll think my wish will come true”.

Not much to say about this one.  I started it out as a cheesy 80’s style synth thing.  It went another way for some reason.  It made me think of falling snow.

I was asked to write a piece of music as a reward for solving a series of puzzles given to a friend for his birthday.  That was none other than Nic Shayko.  Unintentionally stealing from Smoke on the Watter, the harmony parts are nothing more than a remodulation of the same audio file.  Its possible to take a piece of audio and increase or decrease its pitch without changing its playback speed (running a tape fast makes it high pitch for example, but this method does not have any effect on how long it takes to play the audio).

I just felt like making another annoying song one day.  Nothing more or less.

In Jr High, I noticed something.  Much of the music that was on the radio used the same group of chords.  And that Techno was pretty dull.  So, I decided to prove a point.  Some punk 12 year old could do just as well with absolutely no experience, that there was nothing but shallow BS behind modern music.  So, I broke out my newly acquired MIDI Orchestrator Plus on my parents Windows 95 computer and went to work.  A few months or so later, a friend of mine was paid to make a class reunion website on Homestead.  It was immortalized on that page.  A few years later, he sent me a link back to that page.  I asked for the midi file so I could play with it on Garage Band and eventually post it for all to hear.

I was listening to some of the Apple loops that came with Garage Band. I liked the piano one. It was a midi track, so I could modify it, and I did. I wrote a counter melody as well as emphasized what I felt was the melody of the piano part by doubling it with strings. Things degraded from there.

It became my vision of what might happen if you didn’t watch the tram car. You’ve just been mowed down by a bunch of tourists from Pennsylvania and Canada riding a yellow tour cart. You lay on the ground confused not knowing what just happened. Things become clearer, and the sounds leading to the event resonate in your mind and are equal to what is going on around you. Eventually you cannot hold much longer and slowly pass out.

Others have thought it to be a story of hidden love between two tram car driver. I will neither confirm or deny this possibility.